Lusting For Legolas
by TrinityTheSheDevil
Summary: Arwen insanely lusts after Legolas. Warning: Don't eat or drink while reading this! :D


This fic was created because some people (I'm not saying who, you know who you are!) on the Mellon Chronicle list released a truckload of plot bunnies on me. ;-) Actually, it was a innocent discussion about how old Legolas is, and if he and Arwen ever had a "thing", before Aragorn came along. So, sit back, relax, and put away your food and drink. LOL!  
Title: Lusting For Legolas   
Author: TrinityTheSheDevil   
Rating: PG 13, just in case ;)  
Summary: Arwen's insanely lusting after poor Legolas.  
Disclaimer: I, sadly, don't own any of these characters. The shackles are mine tho, ALL MINE!   
  
He doesn't know I watch him. His golden hair, his tight butt, his muscled abs when he bathes. I've never seen another elf quite as gorgeous as him. I can feel the world slip away when he smiles. His laughter brings sunshine to the dark corners of my mind.  
  
While pondering to myself late last night, under the stars, I asked myself if I was becoming a stalker. Obsessing over this one elf so much that I'm forgetting the outside world. Just this morning I caught a glimpse of his handsome face and ran right into a wall. Thankfully nobody was around, and I was able to go on my way.  
  
I do not think of myself as a stalker though, for he could not refuse my beauty. Father tells me I'm beautiful all the time, and father doesn't lie.   
  
No, I'm not a stalker. I would never hurt him. He is to sexy to hurt.   
  
Tiptoing around a bush, I have a look around to find him. I know he's close by here somewhere, for I followed him to this place. He can't have gone far. Spotting a light footprint heading out of the garden, I silently laugh. He's not getting away from me now.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
She doesn't know that I'm on to her. She's been following me around for days now. Day before yesterday, I caught her in my closet, sniffing my pants. SNIFFING my pants. Geez, if she's not obsessed then I'm a dwarf. I shudder at that thought. Dwarves suck.  
  
She's following me now. I can sense it. It's like a tingle that starts at my lower back and works it's way up my spine. I quickly run ahead, then jump to the highest branch of the nearest tree, and make my way back to the front of the garden. Settling down, I wait for her.   
  
I was right. Only a few seconds after, she creeps along the bushes like a cat. An obsessed cat. I should get a dog. That would teach her.....  
  
Shaking my head, I continue to watch this stalker. I have to get out of here, and soon. I fear she would do many cruel and evil things to me if she caught me. While speaking to one of the metal workers just the other day, I found out she had gotten shackles to put in her bedroom. She claimed it was for "decoration".   
  
I watched her follow the false trail out of the garden. Perfect. Lightly hoping down from the tree, I make my way back towards my room to pack. I will spend not a day more here with that evil...posessed...obsessed.....she elf!   
  
After a long while of silently creeping down the halls of Elrond's home, I get to my door. Can't be too careful with HER around.  
  
Opening the door, I rush in and turn around to lock it. That done I lean against the wall and sigh. Give me a hundred Orcs any day.  
  
Looking towards my bed, my breath catches in my throat. HOW IN THE SEVEN LEVELS OF HELL DID SHE GET IN HERE?  
  
Hurrying, I turn around to unlock the door and escape, but she is too fast. Grabbing me, she shackles me to my bed, and stands up and laughs. Uh oh......  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I stopped when I didn't see the footprints anymore. Looking up, I spot him hiding in the trees. A clever one, him. After waiting a bit, he jumps down and I move to see which way he is headed. Towards his bedroom. Perfect.  
  
Quickly running through my fathers palace, I arrive at my room and grab the restraints I got a few days ago. I knew these would come in handy.  
  
Rushing back to his room, I walked in and sat on the bed awaiting my true love. I know it won't be long. I will show him just how beautiful I am, and give him all my love. He will not decline, for I know in his heart, he loves me too.  
  
Hearing light footsteps in the hall, I hold my breath and wait for the door to open. It does, and he rushes in and locks the door. Good, I won't have to bother with that when I shackle him down.  
  
He looks over at me and I see an expression of pure terror. I'm half tempted to turn around and look for a Warg sitting behind me. Ah, he thinks he can escape me? I think not! Quickly getting up, I snap the shackles on his wrists, and throw him onto the bed. Elf strength comes in handy sometimes. Smirking to myself as he tries to escape, I lean down and place a kiss on his lips. MMmmmm, those beautiful lucious lips. I finally have him!   
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Oh Valar, she finally has me! And she kissed me! Ah, bleck! Kitty germs. Definitely buying a dog when I get out of here.  
  
"Did you really think you could escape me, you pretty Elf you." She says, and runs her finger down my thigh. I whimper slightly at this. Forget obsessed.......this witch is insane! The look in her eyes would send even Sauron running.  
  
"You are mine now. You will marry me, and we will have long and full lives together. We'll be with each other for every moment, from now on."  
  
Every moment of my life with her? Oh no, this is too much. My mind finally shuts down, and I black out.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Well how do you like that! The little cutie passed out on me, right when I was telling him my wonderous plans. Oh well, he was probably overwhelmed by my complete and absolute beauty.   
  
Pity though, I was looking foward to having fun with him tonight. Sighing, I turn to my bathroom and decide to take a bath. He'll be awake by the time I'm done.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
I woke up, and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes, when I found I could not move my hands. Memory came rushing back to me, and I heard splashing in a nearby bathroom.   
  
I have to get out of here. Looking around, I spot her hairpins on a table closeby. Pulling my foot out of my shoe, I reach over and pick it up with my toes. Bending my legs, I drop the pin into my waiting hands. Making short work of the locks on the shackles, I put my boot back on and run to the window. It wasn't a far drop, so I jumped down.  
  
Forget my things. I have my bow, arrows, and my knives. That's enough. I'll use whatever is left over in my saddlebags. Rushing towards the stables, I call my horse.   
  
"Going somewhere Legolas?"  
  
Spinning around, I spot Elladan, and behind him, Elrohir.   
  
"I'm escaping your obsessed sister." I explain.  
  
"Ah, she's doing it again." Elrohir nodded, knowingly.   
  
"Doing what?" My eyebrows shoot up. She's done this before? It's a wonder Elrond doesn't keep her locked up.  
  
"Oh, you know. Lusts after every new elf that enters Rivendell." Elladan sighed.  
  
"Father said last time, that if she does it again, he's sending her to Lothlorien to live with Grandmother. The last time she did this, the poor elf almost went insane before we found out where she had hidden him. Pity, he has a phobia of daisy's now...." Elrohir shrugged his shoulders.   
  
I've decided I'm not stepping foot in either Rivendell, nor Lothlorien, when she's around. Never.   
  
"Well, Legolas, you had better go before she finds out you're missing." Elladan hands me some supplies.  
  
"I thank you both. Now if you'll excuse me." I mounted my horse.  
  
"LLEEEGGOOLLAAASSS!" I heard her cry. It was like a banshee.   
  
"Goodbye," I yell, "and give your father my apologies for rushing off like this!" I took off, urging my horse faster and faster, leaving a trail of dust in my wake.  
  
"So, who's telling father?" Elladan looked at his younger brother.  
  
"Well, not me, I told him last time!"   
  
Elladan looked up towards his sister's room. "Maybe we'll just....let Legolas have a good head start...then tell father."  
  
Elrohir nodded, and they both watched until Legolas passed out of sight. They then headed up towards their rooms feeling sorry for the next sucker Arwen put under her spell.   
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Feedback rules! Lemme know how you liked my fic.  
  
OH, and a PS too:  
  
THANK YOU!!!!! to everybody who reviewed my two other fics, Bananas and Ale, and Orcs, The Pain In My Arse. You guys rock!!!!!! 


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